Divorce can be one of the most stressful losses a person can experience. It can be difficult, because it is an end to a relationship and a transition into a new life. In fact, divorce is considered more stressful than going to jail or losing a family member. When a separation involves a spouse with a high-conflict personality, the events can be devastating.
A high-conflict personality means that a person exhibits certain behaviors that could be considered anti-social or even narcissistic. In some cases of individuals seeking divorce, a spouse must deal with the stress of the separation and an ex that simply can not be civil during the process.
Seeking a divorce with a high-conflict person is stressful because you are dealing with an angry, confrontational, or possibly abusive spouse. The entire process becomes a constant conflict and fight. The divorce process becomes less efficient and more difficult when a spouse decides to exhibit blame and anger and negative interactions.
When communication is not productive, necessary legal arrangements can quickly escalate into a destructive case. Instead of problem resolution, high levels of conflict result in negative interactions, and further issues arise. High-conflict couples struggle with meeting their parental responsibilities. It takes cooperation to achieve custody arrangements, spousal support, visitation, and child support issues successful.
It is a good idea to identify if you are dealing with a high-conflict separation. Get a handle on the divorce process,and seek an experienced attorney to help you make the process efficient and less stressful. Some advice to help deal with an ex that exhibits high-conflict personality include:
- Don't dwell on the past. Deal with the divorce and move forward with your life.
- Do not focus on hurt or painful memories that are in the past.
- Ignore comments from your ex that are intended to evoke an anti-productive response.
- Avoid seeing your spouse unless you have an attorney present with you.
- Don't get stuck in a vicious cycle of arguing. Deal with the issues with your attorney.
Discussions with a spouse who is high-conflict are more likely to end with a fight, so avoiding conversations about your relationship and feelings is a good idea. Keep the divorce on a professional level, and do not put any communications into writing that may be used against you later.
When there are children involved in a divorce, the end goal is to act in the best interest of the children. In divorce cases that are heated and contested, it is especially important to be focused and understanding. Issues that arise when children are involved make a divorce case less straightforward.
Going through a divorce is difficult enough. When spouses with high-conflict personalities file divorce, it can be an especially stressful situation. Seek the professional assistance of an experienced family law attorney. An attorney can help you not only with the legal divorce process, but also with any other issues that may arise: professional support, effective legal advise, child custody, parenting time, child support, alimony (spousal support), and a successful separation.